Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
