you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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