Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
