Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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