I'm so fucking centered right now
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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