They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
