I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
