Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
