There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
