yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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