I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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