I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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