i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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