We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
