I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was not drunk enough for that final.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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