He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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