So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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