apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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