I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
