At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Fuck appropriateness.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
