Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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