I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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