I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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