I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
