Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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