3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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