Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
