So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
only you would photoshop your dick
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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