god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
