I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
