i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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