I'm pants shitting drunk right now
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
