I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I look better un-naked...
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She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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