My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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