if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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