i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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