margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize