my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.