yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You are a genius and a whore.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize