if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
