these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
