I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
