Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
