p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
