We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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