Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
