How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
