Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
