no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize
