3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
