Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize