is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You pole danced in your parka.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
