i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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